Late last year, a woman on the street approached me in the late evening for money for a bus ride to get home. Some friends and I were walking to a restaurant in the Over the Rhine neighborhood of Cincinnati. She surprised me as we got out of the car and my first reaction was no...I don't have any cash. But I did. I had a few dollars in my wallet I could have given her. But I didn't...and I don't know why. It's not like I couldn't afford it. Why was my first reaction...no?? I beat myself up the rest of the evening. Once we were seated in the restaurant, I excused myself and went back out on the street, seeing if she was still there, trying to make amends. She wasn't so I couldn't. I promised myself that night I would never let that happen again. If someone asks, I will give.
But I didn't. Today while filling my car with gas at a local gas station, a man walked up behind me, surprised me, and asked me if I had some money. He said he had just been released from the hospital and needed money to pay for his next dialysis. I knew that was a lie. I know the local hospital will treat indigent and homeless people regardless of their ability to pay. That's what I told myself as I explained I did not have any available cash. What is wrong with me?
I have worked with homeless, I have volunteered at shelters. I know most times, the money given is spent on alcohol or drugs. The right thing to do would be to offer a meal or direction for help. But I promised to give. I have no excuse. It is Holy Week. I now understand how Peter felt.
